Kindness. I want to talk about kindness.

World order aside, I want to focus on the kindness that we need to show in our relationships.

Most of our psychological burdens come as a result of the negative encounters we have with those whom we are in love with.

Why do we make it okay to be unkind to one another?

Taking a moment to focus primarily on our romantic relationships, we would have to all admit that we have been on the giving or receiving end of an unkind word or act.

In some situations, these behaviors are learned growing up. Sometimes the symptoms may be a result of issues with drugs or alcohol, impairing our ability to respond kindly to others.

It is never okay to speak angry, unkind or belittling words to another.

All disagreements can move forward without calling each other nasty names, physical contact or the emotional abuse of withholding love or affection.

We teach people how to treat us. And vice versa. If others have allowed us to be unkind or we have allowed others to treat us unkindly, then a period of unlearning needs to happen.

We become angry and strike out emotionally or verbally when our small self, also known as our ego, has been bruised or hurt by actions or words of another. We are reactionary beings.

Riffs between partners often remind me of what I like to call the ANGRY BEAR. You hurt me, and now I’m going to retaliate twice as loud and as hard. It’s a dance for power in relationships that are threatened.

Like our primal ancestors, and what we often see in nature, our desire to have our own needs met first will bring on a puffing of the chest, showing our strength and power. We do this much more often in our world with words and behaviors than we do with physical force. But words and actions can be every bit as damaging.

We need to learn to remove ourselves from the hurt little self and realize that by striking out in word or action we are being abusive to our loved ones. It is not acceptable.

To receive kindness, we have to know that we deserve to be treated with such and have an attitude of kindness towards others.

The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

It works in relationships too.