Authenticity, integrity, real….all commonly used buzzwords in circles of self improvement and discovery.

I’m trying to be my most authentic self.

I’m looking to create relationship with real people.

Integrity is very important to me.


Being my authentic self means that I show up in any and every arena as the same person. At home with my family, out with my friends or working with clients. It means that I am committed to articulating what’s right and true for me.

This is hard to do in relationship. There is definitely a skill set and a required understanding of strategic implementation on both sides.


If I tell my partner that. If I ask for what I need. If I express my true feelings, my desires, my vision


What if it isn’t received well? What if I’m laughed at? What if they get angry?

And so we are conditioned to keep our true wants, needs and desires to ourselves. To let the resentment of not showing up authentic, simmer, until we reach a boiling point when we tend to blow and scream.

“You never listen to me! You always ignore my needs! You don’t even know who I am!”

How do you value self? How do you value your relationships?

The more inauthentic I have been in relationship, the less valuable that relationship has become to me. When I fail to show up as my authentic self, I’m denying my partner the ability to have a relationship with ME. In fact, I am being untruthful and therefore unfaithful in my relationship if I am not coming to the table with my real self.


There is nothing more appealing than someone who has the self love, self respect and self awareness to be their authentic selves. Being YOU is sexy. Asking you partner for what you want, for what you need? That’s sexy. Knowing that you are deserving of what you want or need is sexy. The freedom that comes from leaving behind the imitation of you, the release of trying so hard, the exhaustion of keeping up appearances- that is sexy.

Make authenticity sexy again. Show up as you are.


*The Pleasured Life’s framework for coaching individuals, couples and in relationship is created with a focus on creating a whole self first.  When you create a relationship with yourself first, and then learn to respect the relationships that others have with themselves, then can you come together in the ‘Us’ piece of relationship and partnership. Contact us today to start!