Almost 10 years ago, I got the Kanji symbol for ‘Gentleness’ tattooed on my right thigh.
This morning we’re fishing and I’m drinking coffee and I have to have a little chuckle and a head shake at the irony.
Oh…it’s a full moon, blood moon, full lunar eclipse-the longest one this century too, so the insights, they’re right there on the surface of my consciousness and when you’re this close to Mama Earth in her absolute splendor? The veil of illusion lifts!
I’m not sure if it was prophetic, if it was guidance or my subconscious. Why I chose to get that message of gentleness tattooed on my body at the least gentle time of my life, I don’t know. But I do know that this morning as I drink my coffee and troll for fish with my love, this message of gentleness has finally landed.
In this time of hustle , bossbabe, be the CEO your parents wanted you to marry, I get the sense that women are conflicted as to how to approach life. We need to be driven, yet not obsessed. Badass and kind. Masculine and feminine. Put together and yet natural.
We can and do carry all of those traits and that’s great and the way it should be. But when it goes against our true nature, when we’re bringing out the big guns every day because society says and it doesn’t feel natural or cyclical, self doubt creeps in and self worth takes a hit.
It’s taken me 10 years to learn how to be gentle with myself. Which has improved not only the relationship with myself, but the relationships with those around me as well.
It hasn’t been easy. Ita about learning to be rather than do. And understanding that there actually is doing in the being. Its realeasing that grasping on the heart and mind, sofening, opening, finding space and living from there.
I’ve had this talisman on my body for 10 years and it’s just this morning how I see that its been working for me.
Four years ago, I decided that I needed to find far more pleasure in my life. In my body, mind, career, relationships. Four years later I can say that that happens more often than not but it often goes against that cultural norm. What’s desired is not always implemented. Gentleness can be regarded as soft and unmotivated. But gentleness with myself means that I’m tapping into a WHOLE other level of ability. My drive, goals and dreams and desires coming from that space of gentleness and pleasure.
I spent so long grasping and fighting and killing it and being a hard core bitch- but my hands were full and nothing else could come to me. Softening my grip has let things run through my fingers and given me the oppotunity to see much more come into my experience. To see what turns me on, makes me pleasured, fills my cup and sits well in my body.
My body and my soul is rejoicing that I’ve found this message and the message has been written on it for all these years.