My Story

My Story

I never had body image issues as a kid. My body issues came after.

I had my kids when I was really young and like so many other moms, when the years of baby carrying were done,  I needed my body back.

So much so that I decided to make it my job.

I became a personal trainer and I opened a fitness facility. Then it started. I was teaching multiple classes a day and participating in them as well. I was coaching clients and doing their workouts along side them. I was leading run groups and running with the participants. I was doing my own training on the side.

“It’s so refreshing to see a facility owner that walks the walk”- I was told.

People looked in my grocery cart at the grocery store.

People watched what I ordered when I went out to eat.

My physical body was having a hard time keeping up. And I was obsessed.

It was a 20 second kiss at 20 miles into a marathon, celebrating 20 years of marriage with my husband  when this picture was taken.

So romantic. So sexy. Right?

But I love this picture for all of the reasons you can’t see.

You can’t see the heel spurs and exercise induced hemorrhoids I was suffering. You can’t see that being a size 2 didn’t make me happy. You can’t see that I’m exhausted. You can’t see that I had just begged the race volunteer to drive me back to the finish line. You can’t see that I had been pinching my belly telling myself that I needed to tighten up the diet to run faster. You can’t see that my relationship was suffering. You can’t see that I spent 5 days in the hospital for gut issues. You couldn’t see it because I was focused on making my outside perfect so that you wouldn’t know what a shit show my life was!

I just wanted to feel good. I KNEW that to have pleasure in my body would mean that I had pleasure in other areas of my life.

You see, your body is a barometer for what goes on outside of it. You filter experiences through your physical vessel. When your body is clear, you have a clear experience of what’s going on outside of you.

What was it going to take to bring me pleasure? What I’d been doing wasn’t cutting it.

And then I turned 40...

It seemed like I woke up on my 40th birthday and everything I knew about myself had changed.

I can’t say I wasn’t warned.

Those who’d gone before me were quick to let me know just how much things, mostly my body, were going to change.

How everything was going to feel out of my control. How hair was going to spring up out of no where. Along with a middle age muffin top. I wouldn’t be able to sleep through the night. My joints would hurt. I’d have wrinkles and acne. I’d become foggy. Stop remembering the names of my friends or kids. Run through the list, including the pets to get to the right one. My old routines wouldn’t work. I could have water and a toothpick 3 meals a day and gain 5 lbs from looking at a picture of a donut. I could continue to run my 5 miles a day and not lose an ounce. My emotions would be all over the place. I wouldn’t get a period for 2 months. And then I’d have it for 2 months.

Huh? Not me, I thought. I’m a personal trainer. I’m a nutrition consultant. I’m a feminist. I’m a life coach. I got this. I have a background in this.

And then I turned 40.

I tried to fight this tooth and nail. Doubling down on my old practices, hoping that it would be enough to make things move back to where they used to be. Nothing about this felt good and I was determined to create a life that felt good. That continued to bring Pleasure to the mix.

But all the things they said would happen…they happened. And then some.

Does this sound familiar?

Ladies! We don’t need to work harder after 40 to continue to be healthy, well and feel amazing. To set goals. To continue to meet challenges. What we need is to work smarter. To work with our changing bodies and our growing knowledge of ourselves, not against them.

I work one-one with clients as well as in group training/coaching programs to help women over 40 live in a body that they not only recognize as their own. But actually really love. I help women over 40 to define and live The Pleasured Life as their own.

You can join us too!

Click below to sign up for my bi weekly email. Chock full of tips, tricks and research that will make you love your 40+ years. There are so many amazing things about being over 40 and I want to help you find them and celebrate the hell out of them!

Click to Create a Life that Feels Good!