It’s because I want it too. And now I know how to get it. And I also know, that there is only one way to do it.
By way of the relationships in my life, I want relationships that are easy. I want to bypass relationships that are just too hard to maintain. The ones that feel awkward. Relationships where you are wondering on the daily, did I do something wrong? Relationships that feel like competition, or power struggles, or that you’re only there because it’s easier than leaving. We are a species wired for connection. THIS isn’t connecting relationship.
Yeah, I know you don’t want that.
I know that you want supportive, nourishing, fulfilling relationships. I know you want EPIC heart stopping- Experience laden-Make me feel connected and wanted relationships!
So? What does that look like? How does one go about getting this kind of relationship?
It looks like developing a strong relationship with yourself. I feel like I can’t emphasize this enough. You go about getting by becoming the person you’d want to be in relationship with. Any and all relationships.
As I look over my life, (ugh..doing that reflection piece is really hard), there have been more times than I can count than I have been anything BUT the person I’d want to spend time with. Judgmental and critical. Aloof and inattentive. Self centered and arrogant. Gossipy and manipulative. Whiny and boring. Throw in a healthy dose of high school mean girl and foot stomping toddler bad behavior, too, won’t you?
It’s a wonder I had any relationships at all!
And then a shift occurred. And I started down this path and journey of self-discovery. That’s what happens when shit hits the fan in your life, and relationships breakdown. It hurts. So you go on the search to get away from the pain.
Guess where that search will lead you? Back to you. Every. Single. Time.
No matter who, what or where you try to place blame? EVERY time, you will be the one thing that’s a constant in the relationships you keep. You will be the common denominator. Sooner or later, hopefully sooner, you will realize what it is that you truly want.
You are what you want. The real, authentic, integral you plus any other buzzwords and adjectives you want to throw in there. The you that you don’t hide when you wake up at 3 am and wonder what the eff happened to get you to this place that is uncomfortable and hurts like heck, but that you are so comfortable being in that it almost feels cozy and lovely. You are the one that you are looking for. The you that has your back. You are the one you want. And if you start where you are now, right now, and make a commitment to discovering the YOU that you truly want to be, then you will be well on your way to having and getting exactly what you want. In relationship and in life.